.Delete this paragraph to shift page flush
-=*=-
CHAPTER 5
!ID Hey for maximum dispersion, the balconies should be at the corners
! of the room! PROwrite, too
Jefri Olsndot had few clear memories of the ambush and saw none of the violence. There had been the noises outside, and Mom's terrified voice, screaming for him to stay inside. Then there had been lots of smoke. He remembered choking, trying to crawl to clear air. He blacked out. When he woke, he was strapped onto some sort of first-aid cot, with the big dog creatures all around. They looked so funny with their white jackets and braid. He remembered wondering where their owners were. They made the strangest noises: gobbling, buzzing, hissing. Some of it was so high-pitched he could barely hear it. !INCON? So it looks like they took Jefri across before Peregrine got to
! the
! harbor. This contradicts his speculation (and also implies that there
! was at least one free boat.
!mARK 04Jun89
!Interesting: Capelens has norsk for bumpety-bump (humping or skumping)
For while he was on a boat, then on a wheeled cart. Before this, he had only seen pictures of castles, but the place they took him was the real thing, its towers dark and overhanging, its big stone walls sharply angled. They climbed through shadowed streets that went skumpety skumpety beneath the cart's wheels. The long-necked dogs hadn't hurt him, but the straps were awfully tight. He couldn't sit up; he couldn't see to the sides. He asked about Mom and Dad and Johanna, and he cried a little. A long snout appeared by his face, the soft nose pushing at his cheek. There was a buzzing sound he felt all the way down to his bones. He couldn't tell if the gesture was comfort or threat, but he gasped and tried to stop the tears. They didn't befit a good Straumer, anyway.
More white-jacketed dogs, ones with silly shoulder patches of gold and silver. !33[4] = 15[10] <> 33[10]
!QU Who is the "builder of the castle": Flenser;
! should anything be PROwritten
! about these different use of number bases?
!V eg, "too dumb to count by fore-claws"
!V in c12, Woodcarver uses the phrase "counting by fore-claws",
!V but I think that it is the only other reference June 11, 1991
!QU is this course of history thing okay (cf beginning of Chapter 2)
!V June 11, 1991 TUF:
!V June 2, 1991 Size of doors doesn't quite match your MODEs insight
His cot was being dragged again, this time down a torch-lit tunnel. They stopped by a double door, two meters wide but scarcely one high. A pair of metal triangles was set in the blond wood. Later Jefri learned they signified a number -- fifteen or thirty-three, depending on whether you counted by legs or fore-claws. Much, much later he learned that his keeper had counted by legs and the builder of the castle by fore-claws. Thus he ended up in the wrong room. It was a mistake that would change the history of worlds.
Somehow the dogs opened the doors and dragged Jefri in. They clustered around the cot, their snouts tugging loose his restraints. He had a glimpse of rows of needle-sharp teeth. The gobbling and buzzing was very loud. When Jefri sat up, they backed off. Two of them held the doors as the other four exited. The doors slammed shut and the circus act was gone.
Jefri stared at the doors for a long moment. He knew it was no circus act; the dog things must be intelligent. Somehow they had surprised his parents and sister. Where are they? He almost started to cry again. He hadn't seen them by the spaceship. They must have been captured, too. They were all being held prisoner in this castle, but in separate dungeons. Somehow they must find each other! !PROwrite that the "whitewash" is sound absorbant
! I changed it to quilting instead (more consistent with the rest of
! story)
! Is this enough of a solution?
He climbed to his feet, swayed dizzily for a moment. Everything still smelled like smoke. It didn't matter; it was time to start working on getting out. He walked around the room. It was huge, and not like any dungeon he'd seen in stories. The ceiling was very high, an arching dome. It was cut by twelve vertical slots. Sunlight fell in a dust-moted stream from one of them, splashing off the padded wall. It was the room's only illumination, but more than enough on this sunny day. Low-railed balconies stuck out from the four corners of the room just below the dome. He could see doors in the walls behind them. Heavy scrolls hung by the side of each balcony. There was writing on them, really big print. He walked to the wall and felt the stiff fabric. The letters were painted on. The only way you could change the display was by rubbing it out. Wow. Just like olden times on Nyjora, before Straumli Realm! The baseboard below the scrolls was black stone, glossy. Someone had used scraps of chalk to draw on it. The stick-figure dogs were crude; they reminded Jefri of pictures little kids draw in kinderschool. !iNCON How come he didn't see the carnage outside the boat?
!INCON that they would have to live in barracks in such a high Zone
!jrf in reply to the incon questions: Maybe they don't have to live in
!jrf barracks, but in a high-tension project, it makes sense to keep
!jrf them together
He stopped, remembering all the children they had left aboard the boat, and on the ground around it. Just a few days ago, he'd been playing with them at the High Lab school. The last year had been so strange -- boring and adventurous at the same time. The barracks had been fun with all the families together, but the grownups hardly ever had time to play. At night the sky was so different from Straum's. "We're beyond the Beyond," Mom had said, "making God." When she first said it, she laughed. Later when people said it, they seemed more and more scared. The last hours had been crazy, the coldsleep drills finally for real. All his friends were in those boxes.... He wept into the awful silence. There was no one to hear, no one to help him.
After a few moments he was thinking again. If the dogs didn't try to open the boxes, his friends should be okay. If Mom and Dad could make the dogs understand.... !QU Do dogs have litter boxes? Would such be used by Straumers?
!jrf |NO; get rid of later reference to
!jrf litter boxes
!jrf2 Right about here, all his remembering should make him cry!
Strange furniture was scattered around the room: low tables and cabinets, and racks like kids' jungle gyms -- all made from the same blond wood as the doors. Black pillows lay around the widest table. That one was littered with scrolls, all full of writing and still drawings. He walked the length of one wall, ten meters or so. The stone flooring ended. There was a two-by-two bed of gravel where the walls met. Something smelled even stronger than smoke here. A bathroom smell. Jefri laughed: they really were like dogs! !jrf2 laughter is okay. Crying can turn to laughter. Needs to cry, then
!jrf2 transition
!Norsk: Å skrike to scream, shout, yell
The padded walls soaked up his laughter, echoless. Something ... made Jefri look up and across the room. He'd just assumed he was alone here; in fact, there were lots of hiding places in this "dungeon." For a moment, he held his breath and listened. All was silent ... almost: at the top of his hearing, up where some machines wheep, and Mom and Dad and even Johanna couldn't hear -- there was something. !jrf2 Here he would have to keep from crying again
!V I don't think fear would make him cry here, though
"I -- I know you're here," Jefri said sharply, his voice squeaking. He stepped sideways a few paces, trying to see around the furniture without approaching it. The sound continued, obvious now that he was listening to it. !jrf IMP thinks Jefri adjusts to Amdi too quickly, that he'd be a bit
!jrf more weirded out
A small head with great dark eyes looked around a cabinet. It was much smaller than the creatures that had brought Jefri here, but the shape of the muzzle was the same. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Jefri edged slowly toward it. A puppy? The head withdrew, then came further out. From the corner of his eye, Jefri saw something move -- another of the black forms was peering at him from under the table. Jefri froze for a second, fighting panic. But there was no place to run, and maybe the creatures would help find Mom. Jefri dropped to one knee and slowly extended his hand. "Here ... here, doggy." !jrf2 His emotions would be running high<?> and volatile. In the preceding
!jrf2 paragraph, why wouldn't he be more wary, scared, angry?
!They do have external ears! INCON see /BLABBER/EAR.TMP
!V And distinguish between low sound ears and mind ears
! This should be discussed in TINES.TXT, too
!INCON How about clothes for Amdi
! He's all child and an experiment. This together with the fact that
! clothes aren't quite as necessary are my justification for him being
! naked here. Also I corroboratively mention his acquiring
! clothes in c15.
!INCON How to they keep this room warm?
The puppy crawled from beneath the table, its eyes never leaving Jefri's hand. The fascination was mutual; the puppy was beautiful. Considering all the thousands of years that dogs have been bred by humans (and others), this could have been some oddball breed ... but only just. The hair was short and dense, a deep velour of black and white. The two tones lay in broad swaths with no intermediate grays. This one's entire head was black, its haunches split between white and black. The tail was a short, unimpressive flap covering its rear. There were hairless patches on its shoulders and head, where Jefri could see black skin. But the strangest thing was the long, supple neck. It would look more natural in a sea'mal than a dog. !TUF jrf2 questions "sea'mal"
Jefri wiggled his fingers, and the puppy's eyes widened, revealing an edge of white around the iris. !mARK 04Jun89
Something bumped his elbow, and Jefri almost jumped to this feet. So many! Two more had crept up to look at his hand. And where he had seen the first one there were now three, sitting alertly, watching. Seen in the open, there was nothing unfriendly or scary about them. !FRAG They didn't hang their tongues like the dogs Jefri knew.
One of the puppies put a paw on Jefri's wrist and pressed gently downward. At the same time, another extended its muzzle and licked Jefri's fingers. The tongue was pink and raspy, a round narrow thing. The high-pitched wheeping got stronger; all three moved in, grabbing at his hand with their mouths. !QU Now are you saying "gobbling" too much?
"Be careful!" Jefri said, jerking back his hand. He remembered the grownups' teeth. Suddenly the air was full of gobbling and buzzing. Hmp. They sounded more like goofy birds than dogs. One of the other pups came forward. It extended a sleek nose toward Jefri. "Be careful!" it said, a perfect playback of the boy's voice ... yet its mouth was closed. It angled its neck back ... to be petted? He reached out; the fur was so soft! The buzzing was very loud now. Jefri could feel it through the fur. But it wasn't just the one animal who was making it; the sound came from all directions. The puppy reversed direction, sliding its muzzle across the boy's hand. This time he let the mouth close on his fingers. He could see teeth all right, but the puppy carefully kept them from touching Jefri's skin. The tip of its snout felt like a pair of small fingers closing and opening around his.
Three slipped under his other arm, like they wanted to be petted too. He felt noses poking at his back, trying to pull his shirt out of his pants. The effort was remarkably coordinated, almost as if a two-handed human had grabbed his shirt. Just how many are there? For a moment he forgot where he was, forgot to be cautious. He rolled over and began petting the marauders. A surprised squeaking sound came from all directions. Two crawled beneath his elbows; at least three jumped on his back and lay with their noses touching his neck and ears. !QU Is this notion too repetitious (false happy estimates) (cf Johanna's
! thought just before the ambush)
!V Do get rid of the prescient comment of Johanna's in c03
And Jefri had what seemed a great insight: The adult aliens had recognized he was a child; they just didn't know how old. They had put him in one of their own kinderschools! Mom and Dad were probably talking to them right now. Things were going to turn out all right after all. !jrf2 Did Jefri miss the whole ambush? What does he think happened??
!CHAR CHRON This implies that Steel is about 27 years old
!mARK 04Jun89
!PRB There should be some tip-of-the-hat to unique/important nature
! of the landing of the humans. Probably the place to put it is in
! the first exchange between Tyrathect and Steel. This also servers
! to show Steel's initial assessment of the landing.
!CHK(d) Properties of Steel
Lord Steel had not taken his name casually: steel, the most modern of metals; steel, that takes the sharpest edge and never loses it; steel, that can glow red hot, and yet not fail; steel, the blade that cuts for the flenser. Steel was a crafted person, Flenser's greatest success. !jrf confused by term "kenner" in first appearance -- but I use it
!V June 11, 1991 a lot all through the book
!V PRB with using present tense here
In some sense, the crafting of souls was nothing new. Brood kenning was a limited form of it, though mainly concerned with gross physical characteristics. Even kenners agreed that a pack's mental abilities derived from its various members in different measures. One pair or triple was almost always responsible for eloquence, another for spatial intuition. The virtues and vices were even more complex. No single member was the principal source of courage, or of conscience.
Flenser's contribution to the field -- as to most others -- had been an essential ruthlessness, a cutting away of all but the truly important. He experimented endlessly, discarding all but the most successful results. He depended on discipline and denial and partial death as much as on clever member selection. He already had seventy years of experience when he created Steel. !PRO write "send into silence" (c12)
Before he could take his name, Steel spent years in denial, determining just what parts of him combined to produce the being desired. That would have been impossible without Flenser's enforcement. (Example: if you dismissed a part of yourself essential for tenacity, where could you get the will to continue the flensing?) For the soul in creation, the process was mental chaos, a patchwork of horror and amnesia. In two years he had experienced more change than most people do in two centuries -- and all of it directed. The turning point came when he and Flenser identified the trio that weighed him down with both conscience and slowness of intellect. One of the three bridged the others. Sending it into silence, replacing it with just the right element, had made the difference. After that, the rest was easy; Steel was born.
When Flenser had left to convert the Long Lakes Republic, it was only natural that his most brilliant creation should take over here. For five years Steel had ruled Flenser's heartland. In that time he had not only conserved what Flenser built, he extended it beyond the cautious beginnings.
But today, in a single circling of the sun about Hidden Island, he could lose everything.
!V May 31, 1991 Capitalize "whitejackets"? NO and it should be one
!V word (June 11, 1991 based on most consistent usage elsewhere)
Steel stepped into the meeting hall and looked around. Refreshments were properly set. Sunlight streamed from a ceiling slit onto just the place he wanted. Part of Shreck, his aide, stood on the far side of the room. He said to it, "I will speak with the visitor alone." He did not use the name "Flenser". The whitejackets groveled back and its unseen members pushed open the far doors. !V to make it more reasonable later about gender usage, might make
!V it 2m3f? QU NO, 09Feb91 <gender>
!V Hmm, or maybe you should just use "he" when others refer to the pack
!V ie, that the femaleness was the surprising secret of Tyra's identity
!V I think this is what I originally had in mind, anyway
A fivesome -- three males and two females -- walked through the doorway, into the splash of sunlight. The individual was unremarkable. But then Flenser had never had an imposing appearance. !PRB? Some may ask how this could ever happen
Two heads raised to shade the eyes of the others. The pack looked across the room, spotting Lord Steel twenty yards away. "Ah-h ... Steel." The voice was gentle, like a scalpel petting the short hairs of your throat.
Steel had bowed when the other entered, a formal gesture. The voice caused a sudden cramp in his guts, and he involuntarily brought bellies to the ground. That was his voice! There was at least a fragment of the original Flenser in this pack. The gold and silver epaulets, the personal banner, those could be faked by anyone with suicidal bravado.... But Steel remembered the manner. He wasn't surprised the other's presence had destroyed discipline on the mainland this morning.
The pack's heads, where they were in sunlight, were expressionless. Was a smile playing about the heads in shadow? "Where are the others, Steel? What happened today is the greatest opportunity of our history."
Steel got off his bellies and stood at the railing. "Sir. There are some questions first, just between the two of us. Clearly, you are much of Flenser, but how much --" !BKG bobbing associated with grinning? PRO write, if so.
The other was clearly grinning now, the shadowed heads bobbing. "Yes, I knew my best creation would see that question.... This morning, I claimed to be the true Flenser, improved with one or two replacements. The truth is ... harder. You know about the Republic." That had been Flenser's greatest gamble: to flense an entire nation-state. Millions would die, yet even so there would be more molding than killing. In the end, there would exist the first collective outside of the tropics. And the Flenser state would not be a mindless agglomeration grubbing about in some jungle. The top would be as brilliant, as ruthless as any packs in history. No people in the world could stand against such a force.
"It was an awesome risk to take, for an even more awesome goal. But I took precautions. We had thousands of converts, many of them people with no understanding of our true ambition, but faithful and self-sacrificing -- as they should be. I always kept a special group of them nearby. The Political Police were clever to use mob assassination against me, the last thing I had expected -- I who made the mobs. No matter, my bodyguards were well trained. When we were trapped in Parliament Bowl, they killed one or two members of each of those special packs ... and I simply ceased to exist, dispersed among three panicky, ordinary people trying to escape the blood swamp."
"But everyone around you was killed; the mob left no one."
The Flenser-thing shrugged. "That was partly Republican propaganda, and partly my own work: I ordered my guards to hack each other down, along with everyone who was not me." !CHK TINES BKG CHRON 1100 miles to Capital; 8weeks ago
Steel almost voiced his awe. The plan was typical of Flenser's brilliance, and his strength of soul. In assassinations, there was always the chance that fragments would get away. There were famous stories of heroes reassembled. In real life such events were rare, usually happening when the victim's forces could sustain their leader through reintegration. But Flenser had planned this tactic from the beginning, had envisaged reassembling himself more than a thousand miles from the Long Lakes. !V June 4, 1991 IMP note about CHAR Tyrathect's appearance here:
Still ... Lord Steel looked at the other in calculation. Ignore voice and manner. Think for power, not for the desires of others, even Flenser. Steel recognized only two in the other pack. The females and the male with the white-tipped ears were probably from the sacrificed follower. Very likely only two of Flenser really faced him. Scarcely a threat ... except in the very real sense of appearances. "And the other four of you, Sir? When may we expect your entire presence?" !INCON -- ok, I think 02Feb91 BKG Months?
The Flenser-thing chuckled. Damaged as it was, it still understood balance-of-power. This was almost like the old days: when two people have a clear understanding of power and betrayal, then betrayal itself becomes almost impossible. There is only the ordered flow of events, bringing good to those who deserve to rule. "The others have equally good ... mounts. I made detailed plans, three different paths, three different sets of agents. I arrived on schedule. I have no doubt the others will too, in a few tendays at most. Until then," he turned all heads toward Steel, "until then, dear Steel, I do not claim the full role of Flenser. I did so earlier to establish priorities, to protect this fragment till I am assembled. But this pack is deliberately weak-minded; I know it wouldn't survive as the ruler of my earlier creations."
Steel wondered. Half-brained, the creature's schemes were perfect. Nearly perfect. "So you wish a background role for the next few tendays? Very well. But you announced yourself as Flenser. How shall I present you?"
The other didn't hesitate. "Tyrathect, Flenser in Waiting."
!here is where r1.txt should go, 04.txt, p55-75,
! and the first part of 05.txt p76-92