[
random thoughts
]
2002-11-04
Yeah, ok, I got quiet: I didn't realize that it's been over a week since I made an entry. Mea culpa. I've been busy with the job search and stuff. I applied for four jobs with the Texas Department of Public Safety (aka the cops), and today I have to go take a typing test to qualify for at least one of them. (Long story: I went there for testing, but the lady told me I didn't need to take the typing test. Later they called me, and of course, I *did* need to take the typing test. So now I get to make a whole nother trip into town yadda yadda...)
We spent the weekend in Blanco, which was rainy. It's still rainy. I just woke up at four in the morning and drove 80-something miles in the rain in the dark, much of it on windy country roads where there are many deer. Gah.
Speaking of deer, Richard slammed right into one on the way into town last week. He showed me the blood splattered on his windshield, and told me the fascinating story. I was just glad he didn't get hurt.
And more deer: Richard's step-brother Troy bagged two of them yesterday while out hunting, so we had some chicken-fried backstrap for dinner. I didn't really like it - the meat was way too chewy for me. I mostly ate fries and potato chips with onion dip. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not opposed to hunting, I just think that it's kind of gross. (when Troy came in, he was covered in deer blood, and it was rather off-putting). Not that I've been exposed to it much, but still...
Anyway, while we were down there, I got to meet some more of Richard's relatives who were visiting, which was nice. His sister Luanne and her family decided to adopt Richard's huge cat, Buford, so now he's going to be living up in Dallas and enjoying far more attention than he's been getting lately. I hope he's doing well.
The thing that bugs me about going to Blanco is that everybody besides Richard and me smokes, and the smell gets into my clothes and hair and it's really quite annoying. Yuck. At least it washes out, though. Bleagh.
I should probably try to sleep some more before I have to get ready to go into town for my typing test, but I don't feel very tired. In case you're wondering, the reason we have to get up at four when we're in Blanco is because we have to leave by 4:40am in order to make it to Richard's work in Pflugerville by 6:00am. That's just how it goes.
And oh yeah - to the person or people who were saying something like "hey Beth, haven't we heard this before?" when I expressed how happy I was to have found Richard, I just want to send a snotty smirk in your direction.
Because, seriously, who in this world is lucky enough to have their very first romantic affair be perfect enough to last for the rest of their life? Most of us have to keep trying when things fail. And sometimes when they fail, it's not entirely our own fault, either. So please, cut me some slack - yes, I was wrong before, and I may be wrong now - but then again, I just might be *right* this time, ok? (and how the heck would YOU know, anyway?) Don't automatically assume I'm doomed to failure. If I did that, I'd quit trying and end up leading a very lonely and sad life. (Well, more so than it is now).
For now, I'm quite happy with him, and it's a Good Thing, and he treats me right. It's rather a different sort of relationship than I've had in the past, in ways that I find deeply satisfying. I don't have a crystal ball, I can't tell where things will end up, I'm just committed to keeping things as good as they can be for as long as it's worthwhile, or something like that. And I hope that's quite a long time.
