[
rants
]
2002-10-08
Okay, they asked: Someone asked what happened with David, since he and I dated for quite awhile and I thought things were going so well and so on.
Well, at some point after the nagging to do housework increased dramatically and the affection decreased dramatically I got the hint that he was more looking for a housekeeper than a mate. Okay, so I'm stupid - it took me awhile to figure this out. Keep in mind he didn't bother *telling* me that he wanted me gone, it was all done non-verbally until the clue-bomb finally penetrated my skull.
There was a lot more to it, but I'll leave it at that for now.
Now he's all pissed at me because suddenly he wants all the rest of my stuff gone from his house, like yesterday. I'm doing what I can to get it out of there as quickly as possible. I didn't realize until yesterday that it was upsetting him so much, but now that I know I will take care of it.
Also there's some business about the cell phone he got for me and which he signed a two-year contract for (his idea), and now is annoyed with me that AT&T wants to charge an arm and a leg ($174 as I recall) to cancel the contract. I can understand being annoyed about that, but AT&T is the proper object of that annoyance, not me.
So now I'm getting nasty emails from multiple directions and nasty comments on my website from multiple directions as well. Oh, joy.
Plus, I don't feel real well lately. This morning was particularly rough. Not that any of the people who are out to pester me care or anything. I suppose they're salivating at my misery. Creeps.
Anyhoo, I hadn't been real specific about the breakup because I was trying to exercise my weak, spindly little tact muscle (it's certainly not strong). But since somebody asked, and since David himself is leaving unkind comments here, I thought I'd mention it directly.
I dunno how else to try to combat such things, except by facing them as directly as I can, trying not to be too horrid in return, and letting people's words speak for themselves. I try to inject a little humor into my responses sometimes, too.
But when it comes down to it, I'm leaving the comments there - when you're "differently sane" as I am, evidence that at least *some* people really *are* "out to get you" is a valuable thing.
Look, I'm not a perfect person, but I don't kick people when they're down, as these jerks are. This is my refuge, where I go to express my thoughts in a way that helps me cope. It's very personal, and most people don't have the courage to be as up front about private, painful stuff as I am.
Frankly, it's easy for me. It's hard to hold it in, in fact. But that's beside the point.
I make mistakes. Sometimes I do stupid things. But I don't go around someone's personal website where they bare their soul and put sniping cruel comments there. Because I think that's a wrong thing to do.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable. Sometimes my grip on reality is a bit tenuous, but I'm confident that my values are in the right place, when it really comes down to it.
They must feel good by doing it, that's the only thing I can figure. And if someone has to get their jollies that way, then I suppose I can only pity them, because I don't know how they'll ever learn compassion.
I don't expect everyone to like what I write here. I certainly don't expect them to care. But I really didn't expect the nastiness of a lot of the comments lately. And I just want to say, I won't let them get the best of me.
You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go out and get myself some yummy vanilla ice cream. Because I deserve it. :)
