May 2001

hungry macaroni

I have no food. I have about a dollar to my name. I went to the supermarket, hoping to turn that dollar into macaroni and cheese.

The gods smiled on me.

The macaroni rang up as $2.29; the shelf said $1.99. According to Stop&Shop policy, if something rings up incorrectly, you get one for free.

It took a half hour of arguing with managers, but eventually I got my free macaroni.

Joy.

warrant for my arrest

File under “left hand doesn’t know what right hand is doing”:

There are two letters on my desk from Franklin Township Municipal Court of New Jersey. One reads:

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT A WARRANT FOR YOUR ARREST FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT AS A RESULT OF AN UNANSWERED TRAFFIC SUMMONS HAS BEEN ISSUED. IT HAS BEEN FORWARDED FOR ACTION TO THE POLICE DEPARTMENT SHOWN ABOVE.

The other reads:

MR DANIEL DRUCKER:

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR LETTER DATED APRIL 18 2001. YOUR COURT DATE HAS BEEN SUBMITTED FOR RESCHEDULING.

They're both dated April 26.

I wasn't entirely sure which to believe, since each of the four times I phoned the court, they put me on hold for about 30 minutes before hanging up on me. Last night, though, I found out...

File under "spooky":

I'm on Route 31 in Warren County around midnight, and it suddenly occurs to me that I haven't checked my lights recently. I know my headlights and brakelights work, but I haven't checked my signals or parking lamps lately.

Less than a minute after having this thought, I'm being pulled over for having my license plate light out.
I explain carefully to the cop my situation with Franklin Township. He calls in my information. I sit in the car, wondering whether I'm going to be arrested.

He comes back and informs me that Franklin Township not only doesn't seem to have a warrant for my arrest, but in fact doesn't seem to have any record of me whatsoever. He gives me a warning for my light and lets me go.